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Lately I've been struggling with spending time with God. It sounds crazy doesn't it?

I mean when you're in love with someone, say you're about to get married to someone and you're basically head over heals for them.

You think about them constantly, maybe doodle their name in your notebook. You talk about how amazing and wonderful they are to all your friends, coworkers, anyone who is in your vicinity will probably end up getting an ear full about this amazing guy or girl you are in love with.
And of course, you look forward to spending time with them. If you know you're about to go to dinner with them the entire day is spent in counting the seconds that keep you from them.

... so if we're in love with God. If we are engaged to him.
Why is it so hard to separate time to spend with him?

There are many excuses we can make, believe me- I am the Queen of excuses, but when it comes down to it nothing excuses you from meeting with God daily. Nothing.

Today I finally had a real one on one meeting with Him, I mean yah I talk to him throughout the day but I don't think it really counts unless you have no other distractions. Its been hard because I keep waiting till the last possible second and of course I end up falling asleep. Then the next day the same thing and the next day the same thing. Eventually prayer time is so sporadic that I can count the number of times I pray easier than the times I've forgotten.

For example, Lets say you're really busy with work or school but in the midst of it all you realize need to go to the restroom and there's no time to go so you hold it in. Soon you kind of forget you need to go. (yes I know this may be a weird analogy but hear me out)

Sometimes you notice when you're drifting away from God but the longer you put off praying to him and reading his word, the less you notice that feeling of emptiness, the softer the voice of the Holy Spirit becomes.

The second I knelt before Him today I felt this surge of thirst. As if this whole time I was heavily dehydrated but didn't know I was until I sat next to the well. As a deer thirsts for water Lord my soul thirsts after you...

I changed churches this year and one of the many things I love about going to IBC (International Bible Church) is that I can never wear eyeliner. No, not because we're not allowed to or anything but because I never fail to weep, or become so engrossed in worship that I look misshapen by the end of it.
And no, its not because I'm emotional or because I'm sad- but because being in the presence of God makes me Tremble and the Holy Spirit moves so freely in that place that by the end of the service i have mascara running over my nose and my eyes are black. I realize pretty quickly that makeup just wasn't going to work anymore.

One thing I hope will never happen though is developing a sense of Apathy. Each Sunday at exactly 10:30, with the rumble of the drums and the exaltation exploding from the mike all I can think of is " HURRY " - no joke. So I quickly find a free row, throw on my head shawl, and get ready for another amazing morning of Worship and being fed. I hope that no matter how many Sundays pass, no matter how many retreats or meetings go by, I hope I never lose this immense passion for my Savior. We need it.. or he'll spit us out.

A deep desire to be in His presence, that's all he wants from us.. the word of God says the only sacrifice we can offer is a sacrifice of praise.

Don't be lukewarm.