Wednesday, December 30, 2009

12|30|09

2009 is coming to a close
I never thought I'd see the day when 2009 would be over.
Its definitely a year I waited for my whole life- counting down for it throughout high school- wondering if it would ever rescue me.

Although I thought 2009's significance would depend only on my graduation year, its definite that its held far more than that...

If you could think back to the best meal you've ever had. How you ate so much you could physcially feel the seems in your pants begin to burst. Afterwords you are full. So full in fact you could hardly think of eating any more.
Thats how I feel about 2009. I feel like its been so full of blessings and grace and love that I can't even contemplate how there could be more
But with my God I know- there is always more. There is always new expectations and new joys. Every morning.

This year...
my biggest thank you to God would be him revealing Truth to me. Understanding His will and his purpose for me a little clearer... allowing Him to take over more and more of life. Giving Him the pieces I clung to so closely and being able to hear His voice because I began to obey Him...

He truly showed me that His grace is sufficient... and power is made perfect in weakness.

Deuteronomy 28

1 If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. 2 All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:

3 You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.

4 The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.

5 Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.

6 You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.

7 The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.

8 The LORD will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The LORD your God will bless you in the land he is giving you.

9 The LORD will establish you as his holy people, as he promised you on oath, if you keep the commands of the LORD your God and walk in his ways. 10 Then all the peoples on earth will see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they will fear you. 11 The LORD will grant you abundant prosperity—in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground—in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you.

12 The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. 13 The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. 14 Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them.


2010 calls for obedience

Obedience is how we discover the love of God. Obedience is how we are able to draw closer to him. Obedience is how we break bonds and yokes in our life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-lY8VQpSTY&feature=related

Let 2010 not just be a year of new beginnings but a continuation of those beginnings... replenishing desires that have burned out and a hunger that should not have faded. Let 2010 be something more than we could have ever anticipated

Although there may remain hardships do not forget the places God has brought you out of.

Do not Forget.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

12|7|09

Stream of consciousness..

So its getting into the winter season now and recently I noticed the most beautiful tree in my front lawn. Its the only tree on my street that has leaves completely orange and yellow, which is hard to find down south where winter doesn't exist in the same way it does everywhere else.
But I was staring at this tree for a long time, completely marveled with how gorgeous that color was, how unique and appealing.

But the longer I stared at it the more I realized that those leaves, with the rich color and uniqueness, were dead. They produced no fruit and were bound to fall from the tree and be swept by the wind. They were beautiful, amazing- but dead.

It struck me in that moment that we see certain things- people, circumstances, desires- as appealing and unique... but these are dead things.

Until we recognize their worthlessness, until we understand that there is no life in those people, situations, and desires, we will continue to believe that they are more beautiful than what does produce vegetation, than the things that do draw us to where we need to be.

Be careful of things that appeal you because our flesh is prone to what poisons the soul.
---

The love of God is such a deep thing, and it has so many layers and passages that we will never be able to fully understand it.

This is the Love that saves you. This love that is so beyond human comprehension is what saves you and allows you to be called the sons and daughters of the most Holy God.

You don't want life to be fair.
You deserve fair.
Fair would be death.
But God gives life, through his son, through his love.

Thats not fair- that's grace.

So spend the rest of your life discovering God's love, having it overtake you and transform you so that other's may discover God's love through you.
---

Sometimes I feel like I'm two people, like my body is split in half right down the middle. One person is the Believer, striving daily to reach the goal. The other is striving to prevent the former from succeeding. The Believer's voice grows louder with every prayer and strength of discipline and its counterpart begins to speak in whispers as a result. Yet it is such a struggle to keep the destructive part of me completely silent, his voice and his slithering whispers seem to never completely go away until I grow discouraged and allow his voice to get louder and clearer- until the Believer becomes a whisper.

The constant struggle between two voices is the battle between the spirit and flesh. They cannot share the throne of our minds and hearts, one has to win over the other and neither is willing to forfeit.

In order to attack the flesh we need the word of God, we need discipline, and we cannot become discouraged or attracted to what the destructive personality entices us with- his voice is like honey but behind its drops are fangs waiting to devour us.

---
"

8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. "

1Peter 5:8-11

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

12|2|09

1 "If a man divorces his wife
and she leaves him and marries another man,
should he return to her again?
Would not the land be completely defiled?
But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers—
would you now return to me?"
declares the LORD.

2 "Look up to the barren heights and see.
Is there any place where you have not been ravished?
By the roadside you sat waiting for lovers,
sat like a nomad a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a] in the desert.
You have defiled the land
with your prostitution and wickedness.

3 Therefore the showers have been withheld,
and no spring rains have fallen.
Yet you have the brazen look of a prostitute;
you refuse to blush with shame.

4 Have you not just called to me:
'My Father, my friend from my youth,

5 will you always be angry?
Will your wrath continue forever?'
This is how you talk,
but you do all the evil you can.



Jeremiah 3:1-5

Countless times we as a church are described as being the bride of Christ & that Christ is the bridegroom.
In Hebrew custom the engagement would go like this:
The man comes to the girl's house to make his request for marriage. He makes the request but the girl must accept. He shows her a contract for their marriage which she must read and understand and agree to completely. He then offers her a cup of wine and drinks from it and in order to seal the covenant she must take of the cup and drink of it as well. Then the groom must go to Jerusalem and build a home for her and then he will come back and they will be married. In the mean time, however, while he is away they are both basically married and she must keep herself pure and waiting for his return.

Can we see some parallels here? Christ comes to us and offers a relationship like no other. He shows us his word, his promise of eternal life and the things we must keep in mind- a contract in which we agree and hold to. He died for us or drank of the cup and we too must die to sin and "drink from his cup." And of course now he has gone to build a home for us & will be back to take us to where he is.

But the question lies between the moment of agreement and the day of return. Are we being faithful or have we turned our hearts and minds to other things and other people? Are we adulterers? Prostitutes?

Jeremiah speaks adamantly about how we treat and mock God. Yes, we are mocking him.

Imagine you were married but you had extramarital affairs in the mean time. Your spouse may be hidden in the dark but God is all seeing, all knowing. When we place other things & people in front of God, he knows &
his heart breaks for us.

So when we decide to lock God out of certain areas of our life.
When we decide to split ourselves into different people.
When we become ashamed of Christ.
When we make exceptions, bend the rules, make excuses.
When we continue doing what we know is wrong and ignore what we know is right.
When we prostitute ourselves with the world
allow it to defile us
destroy us
demean us
take advantage of us
compel us to more evil than we thought capable
and take us farther and farther from where we should be...

Don't forget that its not too late. The woman who was caught in the act of adultery was thrown at the feet of Jesus. Tears and shame and fear were marked deeply on her face, her heart, as the assembly reminded Jesus of the law. She was to be stoned. Made into an example. An act punishable by death. But rather than casting the first stone he drew a line.
No one can cross that line but Christ and instead of throwing a stone he was nailed to a tree.

Even when you have "sat waiting for lovers, sat like a nomad a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a] in the desert", remember that there is someone who is ready to save you, to love you, to give you a home. But if you continue and continue to make excuses
continue to defile not only your name but God's name...

Some think that the 3rd Commandment of "Do not take the Lord's name in vain" simply means don't say it in exclamation or outside of reverence & while this is true & you should regard the Lord's name as Holy

The 3rd commandment actually means "Do not live your life in a way that would Defile the name of God."
If you are saying you a Christian and declaring Christ as your savior but living in prostitution~ then you are defiling the name of Christ and making others question his sovereignty.

Is that something you're willing to risk?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

10|28|09

To be Made in the Image of God.
I was thinking about this today and it totally blew my mind.
It doesn't mean that we look like God physically- not that we have the same nose, eye color, or smile as God.

But that because we are made in his image...

We care for one another.
We comfort each other.

Through his image we
Dream, understand, contemplate, wonder, question, desire.

Because he formed us from himself we can
Wish, Hope, have faith, be patient, trust, encourage, promise- and keep those promises.

He created us in his likeness so
We could have friendships, families, relationships.

Learn, grow, change, create, imagine, long for things, rejoice, thirst, hunger, want

Male and female he created us

To discover, have memories, solve problems,
have peace, joy, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self control

We were made in the exact likeness, image of God

So that we could Love.


For if God is love... and we are made in the image of God & love is action.
Then because of Him, because He created us in His image

We have the capacity to understand, formulate, desire, need, and be Love.

Isn't it amazing? We were made in the exact image of God- and look, I couldn't name every thing that branches off of that amazing promise.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you.” Jeremiah 1:5.

Even though we are sinners we are redeemed by the immaculate precious blood of Jesus & we are made in the image of God- before you allow Satan to let you think you are worthless- you have been saved & called into God's marvelous light- before he formed you he knew you.

Monday, October 26, 2009

10|27|09

42The Lord answered, "Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time?43It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns. 44I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. 45But suppose the servant says to himself, 'My master is taking a long time in coming,' and he then begins to beat the menservants and maidservants and to eat and drink and get drunk.46The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers.

47"That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. 48But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Luke 12:42-48

Compromise.
Sometimes its good to compromise- at least in the sense that we understand.
One friend wants to eat a cookie, another wants to drink some milk- so you compromise and dip the cookie in some milk. In any case, compromising is the sure way to go in order to keep things civil and functioning.

But the one thing you can never compromise is your faith. Faith, relationship with Christ, your life once you accept Christ can never be compromised.

The bible describes becoming a Christian in so many ways-
Being Born Again, being transformed, becoming a new creation

in all these things there is a complete renewal, complete change. And with that there can never be any compromising.

The parable before that passage is talking about a Master who is coming to his wedding banquet- the men are supposed to wait until he returns. So Christ explains that we cannot goof off and do whatever we want while we wait for the him to return. He will come like a thief in the night, there is no hour that we know of but only that the hour is near.

The problem many of us face is that we decide that certain things are all right, that God will understand if we screw up here and there.

I can drink and God won't care, I can party all night and come home as if nothing happened. I can talk about others, judge them, gossip and smile at those people tomorrow. I can flirt with this girl or that guy shamelessly- putting myself in situations where my integrity is questioned and my meekness altered. I can lie and cheat. Defile my mind with music, images, and conversations. I can do whatever my flesh wants because I have so much time to fix it- God will forgive me- whatever your reasons might be, whatever your weakness might be

You cannot compromise any longer.

Especially when God puts you into leadership roles-
that doesn't even mean just praise & worship leader, prayer leader, speaker or whatever it might be- you could be someones role model, anything.

But verse 48 says that to whom much is given much will be demanded.
You are called to a higher standard & if you fail to meet that standard you will indeed face judgement.

Jesus said that our thoughts are the most destructive- just by hating a man we commit murder & just by lusting after someone we commit adultery
But haver we even gotten to the point where our thoughts are our biggest worries? If we are still at a point where we act on our thoughts then how far are we from training our minds to not even think about those actions?

First we must train our souls to listen to the spirit rather than to flesh, our minds need to become pure but the more we filter it with junk the more likely our flesh is going to win out.

If God has put you in a position where he expects a lot from you, don't fail him. He's demanding much because he knows you can do it. He has faith in you because he loves you.

God Bless <3>

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

10|20|09

True Love

By: Ashley Abraham


I’m no fairy tale princess. My life isn’t full of fairy Godmothers or magic pumpkins or little men. My life is a tragedy and I myself am a tragedy. I’m not a wealthy countess with jewels shining on my finger tips but instead my fingers are caked with soot and grime. My hair is not long and golden but dirty and ragged, unwashed and unkempt. My skin is not fair and lovely and my smile is not always plastered and pearly, rather ashes mark my sorrowed face. My name is not Isabella Marygold or Carol Bella Bells, simply Katarina, but no one has called me by my name in ages.

I’m no one, nothing, a filthy rag amongst jewels and golden tapestry.

My story ended and began the night my parents passed away, coughing and suffocating from influenza. They caught the deadly disease a week after my baby brother and sister died from it and a week after that I was sold. At ten years old I was sold into bondage and despair to a family who only needed me for my labor.

So here I am, seven years later. My fingers are cracked from bleeding, my knees are bruised from kneeling, and my back is constantly sore. I live with a wealthy, well to do family whose sights are set upon their money, themselves, and how they can better themselves. They do not know my name, my face, or possibly even why I live there. I am less significant than the mice yet if there is soot left in the fireplace or dirt in the courtyard, I am the one to be flogged. It’s a painful, slavery ridden life, but I’ve grown numb. I lost any hope of leaving this place, lost want of anything else.

One morning, like any other, I awoke before the sun even considered rising. My beaten feet hit the stone cold floor as I tried to stretch the ache from my body that never seemed to leave me. I always felt so ashamed so I would wear only sack clothing that covered every inch of my body, tied to cover every fragment of hair. No matter how thoroughly I scrubbed my skin, the dirt and grime never could be washed off. I adorned my meager garments and ran to fulfill my tasks. There was so much to do and so little time! I could already feel the sun slowly rise behind me as I scattered feed for the birds and horses, my feet felt its warmth as I poured porridge and milk for the household, and it was steadily in the sky as I was finally able to rest my feet with an apple between my fingers. But before I could eat my way to its core it was time to wash the fireplace, mop the courtyard tiles, weed the garden, wash garments, and clean the estate from top to bottom. As one can tell, even my ear lobes were aching before I was done with half of my list. It was a hard life, I must admit, but it was life so long as I was breathing, that much I was thankful for.

As I was weeding the garden and picking wildflowers around the eastern gate I noticed a parade of horses beating their hoofs from miles away. My hands were caked in mud and my face was as well, my skirt was soaked in perspiration and dirt but there was little time to do much else than wait. In the distance I saw the royal crest, blood red and glistening through the sun light. The infantry as they appeared one by one was the most magnificent I had ever seen but the man leading them was the most beautiful of all. His shoulders were broad, bearing all things and he was larger than the entire infantry behind him. I felt very small and insignificant but I could have sworn he saw me and smiled, even in the distance.

The entryway into the estate was at the northern gate but he chose to come speak to me first. I felt so unworthy beside him but he made me feel so at home, as though he knew me my whole life.


“Hello Katarina,” His deep voice soothed my worries immediately.

“Good afternoon sire, pardon me for asking but how do you know my name?” I hesitated, my voice broke, and I was very timid. No one had called me by name since my life of slavery seven years ago.

“You are no stranger to me, I know your story and I know you’ve been living a hard life,” I stared at him expectantly, wondering what was to come next. “I could not have come sooner but I knew the right time, I knew when you had had enough,” He lifted my dirty chin in his gleaming hands, “I have come to take you to live with me in my palace.” I stared at him in awe. This wasn’t happening. Me? Katarina? The maid whose hands never leave a soapy bucket and whose clothes are ripped and ragged?

“I am sorry sire,” my voice trembled as tears streaked my blackened face, “but I believe you are mistaken. You must mean one of the girls from the estate, I am no one of importance.”


“No, you have great importance to me child. I promise you, I have called you by name.”


My smile moved slowly as hope surrounded me. I could leave this place! I could finally have a home, live with someone who could love me!” I was so excited that I lost my bearings and ran to begin packing my few belongings.


“Wait Katarina, you cannot take anything with you, I will provide everything.” I thought of what I was leaving behind. The one picture I had of my parents, the rag doll that was once my baby sister’s, and my brother’s flute. But then I looked into the prince’s face and saw a new life. The past was bleak and full of sorrow but now I could see a future brimming with hope and joy and something I couldn’t describe. I thought about what it was while I rode towards the castle, I continued to think upon it as I walked through the marble doors, but I didn’t realize the word until I sat in my room.


A silence fell on me as I walked in; the drapes were wide open as sunlight gleamed into all corners of the room. The chandelier above me casted rainbows upon the walls and a breeze snuck in through the open window. I toppled on top of the bed and sunk into the feathered mattress, shoving my face into the satin pillows. The mirror called me next as I saw the gown draped across the chair in front of it. It was a white silk gown, embroidered with silver linings all along the bodice. I stared into the mirror and cried tears of joy as I realized the word I had not been able to describe. The future was filled with love. Unconditional, beautiful, indescribable love was in every inch of my new life. I cradled the dress in my hands as I danced around the room, imagining how wonderful each day was going to be from now on.

I was soon called to dinner as I met the household. The prince sat at the right hand of his father and although I was an orphan girl and new to the household the prince made sure I was seated next to him. As we began to eat I noticed that my place would never grow empty no matter how much I consumed and my glass was never lower than the brim. If I thought of a delectable treat it was immediately set before me and if I needed a new napkin or utensil, it was in my hands before I could look up. I was in want of nothing, and my smile never fell from my face. Laughter rang throughout the hall and echoed from person to person. Even the animals did not have to beg for food but had ample portions awaiting them as well.


After we were filled and satisfied we sat before the fire together as the prince and King spoke words of wisdom and unfailing love. I had this urge to sit at his feet for hours without tiring, if my body had not betrayed me with fatigue I could have sat listening to them all night. I went to bed and felt a peace that was beyond anything I could understand. Oh everything was just so perfect, even dreams could not compare to

reality.


After I year living here I have not changed my reviews. If anything, I have grown more in love with my life and my prince than ever before. He saved me and took me into his home without question. Every day has been filled with a new adventure. I’ve seen places and people and wonders that my mind could never explore alone. Oh life is incredibly sweet now.


There has been rumors going on however to indicate that this perfect life would soon be tested. The servants spoke of another prince who would be riding into the province to challenge our prince. He was known to be a ruthless man, full of deceit and ruthlessness. Although I thought nothing of it the Prince spoke to me that night.


“Katarina, another prince is coming,” He spoke softly and gently as I sat at his feet gazing up at him.

“Yes I know, I have heard he is an evil man,”

“That he is but he is also conniving, beautiful, and prepared,”

“Are you not prepared sire?”

“Oh no, I am always prepared and I will always pretect you but If you chose to leave me willingly, I cannot help you,”

I struggled to reply, how could I possibly ever leave the man who gave me this new life? “ Sire,” I smiled reassuringly towards him, “I could never leave you,” He smiled gravely but there was wisdom behind his eyes.

“Yes child, don’t forget me though. When he comes, do not be blinded by him. Do not be taken by surprise. Be prepared.” He continued to warn me but I paid him no attention. Why would I have to prepare myself, I had eyes only for my prince- not any other.

I do remember that next morning quite clearly. I was strolling along the palace towers when I saw a dark figure clamor over the moat. His dark hair shook behind him as he flew through the courtyard and into the foyer. I scurried below to see what he would be like, what was so fascinating that my sire was so concerned? When I had hardly entered the room, the dark prince noticed me immediately. His dark eyes took hold of my body as he smiled tenderly.


“Hello dear,” He was so handsome and so charming. His words were as smooth as butter as well as his movements as he bent to kiss my hand.

“Oh,” I giggled in a fit, to my embarrassment.

“Katarina I presume?” His smile was so inviting.

I coughed loudly, “Yes,” coughing once more, it seemed my throat could never clear.


“Why you are more beautiful than I even imagined,” A blush deepened as my gaze fell in bashfulness. How charming he was!

“Would you like to go for a walk?” I thought back on what my prince had said the night before. But surely he had not meant to avoid him completely! Sire was probably mistaken, this man could not be trying to wage war with him, look how amazing he was!

During our walks I began to feel bolder than ever before. This stroll was different than with my master. I felt like another person. When his fingers grazed mine I could feel his heat to the tips of my toes and his smile set my heart reeling. There was a new taste in my mouth, one that was wild and ravenous. When we parted at the southern gate I could help but feel a slow ache in the pit of my heart. Would I ever feel that rush in my heart again?


He slowly leaned towards me and whispered, “Tomorrow, meet me at the southern gate.” That night I skipped dinner to meet him. It was the first night that I would not be sitting at my master’s table but once shouldn’t be that big of a deal. We walked through the meadow hand in hand and did so again the next night and the night following that as well. Soon I was leaving before the sun rose and sneaking through the open window of my room.


He kissed me two weeks after our first meeting. It was a blistering hot day and I hadn’t had a meal for days. We found shade behind a blackened tree as he pushed me harshly against it and breathed slowly into my lips. I felt paralyzed for a moment. My knees buckled and my mouth ached and tears streamed from my eyes as he harshly held my hands against the trunk. As he let me go I could feel a part of me break away. Something new replaced the innocence that had once defined me.


From then on I hungered for his kisses and thirsted for his touch. I could not sleep or eat or think of anything but him and his voice. My life became evolved around him and I forgot everything and everyone else.

One morning I awoke to find my hands tied behind my back and my feet bound as well. I could hear voices behind my door.

“Please, I will do anything, don’t take her from here,”

“You know the rules, she betrayed you- she left you for me,”

“But she does not realize what she has done,”

“You warned her didn’t you,”

“Yes but she’s only a child,”

“Katrina knew what she was getting into, you cannot save her now!”

Oh no! I tried to escape my bed but the bonds held me down too tightly, I fell and rolled to the open door.

“Then take me instead.”

“What?” I could see the shock on the dark prince’s face, “You would give up your life for this, filth?” Filth?

“I would give anything for her, please, take me instead,”

“Even better!” I heard footsteps coming towards me and struggled to hide, “I guess it’s your lucky day.” He snarled at me. Gone was the beauty and glamour, gone were the smiles and kisses. Suddenly in one large motion, my beautiful, saving prince moved him aside and knelt at my side. With the knife from his right pocket he sliced and broke the bonds that held me. Before he was taken away he set me to my feet and kissed my forehead.


“I will always love you, do not give up hope,” I knelt to the floor and gasped tears of pain. I felt pain for the person I had become. Pain for the bruises left from the ropes that held me. Pain for the tears that burned my stinging eyes. I had betrayed my best friend, my prince, my greatest love. My body fell limp and I lay broken on the floor.

The dark prince took hold of our fortress; he took command of our province and sat upon the throne with all the glory he could bestow upon himself. I hated him, venomously hated him. My life returned to that of a slave. I had lost all joy and hope and especially the unfailing love. My life was once again meaningless. Only three days after my prince’s death the dark prince announced a proclamation: Any supporter of the former prince must die. That morning on the third day he was ready with his sword and infantry when a large trumpet sounded at the castle doors.

“Who is there?” he barked, snarling as spit escaped his mouth through his fury, “Who dares disturb me without wishing for death?” The doors were thrown open and sunlight blinded him to his knees. He sputtered helplessly, “Who, who, who are you?” He cried out.

Without an answer a sword was thrown and aimed towards the place where his heart should have been. He spwarled on the floor, bleeding profusely, “Majesty!” he cried out.


I turned my gaze upon the one who had just rescued us all. His face shined like never before, his eyes radiating with grace and perfection. He came with more glory and majesty than ever before and I could not help but turn away from his power. The prince! But… he had been killed.

“But, sire…” My words were useless.

“Dear child yes, I was killed. But there was something the dark prince did not understand.”


“What sire?”

“That when an innocent man sheds his blood for a traitor, the hands of time itself turns back and death no longer holds its power.” My face was shining with tears and wailed at his feet. He lifted me in his arms and carried me. “Child, do not fear, I told you I would take care of you.”

“Sire, I will never leave you. Never.”

For the rest of my days I sit at the feet of my master. He supplies me with all good things and I am a princess in his palace. My place is never lacking and neither is my cup, my clothes are purified and glorified and the tresses of my hair shine with all the goodness that floods my heart. I do not deserve this life, I do not deserve his love, but the question is not of worth. The question is of love. He was willing to sacrifice everything for me simply because he loved me. That love is what creates my worth.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

8|30|09

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwsSf2dcie0

There is a God who loves me
Who wraps me in His Arms
That is the place where I'm changed
And that's where I belong

CHORUS: 
Take me to that place Lord
To that secret place where
I can be with You
You can make me like You
Wrap me in Your Arms
Wrap me in Your Arms
Wrap me in Your Arms


There is a secret place where God is constantly waiting for us to go to. When I was thinking about this song a few minutes ago the first thing I thought of was the secret place that Psalm 139 talks about. 
15 My frame was not hidden from you 
       when I was made in the secret place. 
       When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. 
       All the days ordained for me 
       were written in your book 
       before one of them came to be.


This secret place seems to hold time in its entirety because the psalmist says that this is the place where we were woven, where we were knit and where every moment of our lives was planned with great care and consideration. 
But while this may be the place we were created that does not mean we are supposed to avoid it. On the contrary, we should be visiting the secret place every time we venture into prayer and every time we worship. Because in this secret place God reveals himself to us. 


Now I don't believe its like a secret club house with a note saying "no girls allowed" as some of you might picture but Rather its called the secret place because

 
-No one can venture there but you and God- you cannot take anyone with you just as you cannot take anyone with you on judgement day. But the secret place is where you are alone and intimate with your savior.

-No one can hear what you are saying and no one will be able to know the burdens on your heart. Its a secret place because we venture there with sin stained hearts and leave with them soaked in the redeeming blood of Jesus. Sins enter but forgiveness is left in its place.
 
The song calls for Jesus to wrap us in his arms, to take us to this secret place SO THAT we can be like him, be with him. 
The secret place is available to all of us if we would just ask for Jesus to take us there. 
Have a Blessed Week & God be with you :) 


Sunday, August 23, 2009

8|23|09

Everyone Down here is starting school in the next week or so and I thought it would be wise to give some Christian tips for School- whether you're  hanging from jungle gyms or totting laptops. 

Tips 
1. Never forget each school has the tool to brand you with a certain name. And I mean Brand, not label. Branding is where you take a hot iron and seer the animal's name into its skin. So what name will you be branded with? Two-faced, Nerd, Lazy, over-achiever, backstabber, liar
There are many names we can have and many titles we can hold. Some aren't so terrible while other's can ruin your life. As a Christian however, if people do not label you according to your faith- you're doing something wrong. 

2. Everything you do has a Huge impact on people. I tell this story a lot but it seems to get the message across. Once during my Freshman year of High School I had a friend who, during Geometry class, asked me if her geometry project was Ugly. Just joking as I often do with my other friends and not thinking very much of it I said "No, you're Ugly," I'm sure it wasn't said in a maniacal way or anything. I probably laughed it off and then completely forgot it. Three Years later me and this same friend were talking when she suddenly asked if I had been serious when I called her Ugly. 
You see, people remember everything whether you mean for things to slip out or not. This year try and make it a practice to think before you speak James 3 

3. Your actions speak louder than your words. People should know us as Christians because of the love and concern we have towards people. If your friends are being mean to someone- don't participate and then later talk to them about it. If you are in a situation where your friends want you to drink or do something you know is wrong- well you know the old saying "just say no" but not only because its bad for you but because you represent Jesus Christ. Once you accepted Christ in your heart you put a stamp on your forehead that said "property of Jesus Christ" so everything that you say or do as the power to discredit God and has the power to keep someone else from accepting Christ. 
If you're going to declare yourself a Christian please please act like it or you're going to have a whole lot of lost Souls on your hands. 

4. Read the Bible & pray. I know we hear that a lot but you know you (and I) never do it as much as we need to or want to. I mean if Daniel could pray 3 times a day why is it so hard for us to pray even once? It really is hard. It takes a lot of determination and discipline but that's what God wants from us. And believe me- the more you read and the more you pray the easier its going to be when you begin to trudge through life. The good days aren't for sitting back and relaxing but preparing for what's coming next. 

5. Be a Christian Friend. Not just a friend. People have enough friends and go to people but we are different. We have a solution to everyones problem. We know the secret that can unlock the key to paradise and hope and joy unimaginable. We can give advice from the most powerful substance known to man. We can pray for people, prayer that brings healing, peace, comfort, joy, answers, and fulfillment of promises. We're not normal friends, we're not normal people. Don't be ashamed of God when you're in front of the people you care about- they're the ones you need to tell the most. 
God puts you in these people's lives for a reason. Its never coincidence. You were set apart to Change lives. 

Good Luck at school, I hope its an Amazing year & God Be With you guys :)

Friday, August 21, 2009

8|21|09

So when I stay up late and its really dark in the house I usually stick to the game room and off the light when I'm done. 

Then about five min later after I've gotten all cozy and ready for sleep I realize I forgot to turn off the computer or something along those lines. 

My dad often walks around the house randomly in the middle of the night so, for fear that me turning on the light would signal to him that I'm still awake at 3 in the morning, I walk around in the dark. 

The dark itself leaves me uneasy but being right next to the balcony and having walls all over the place, the dark becomes even more frightening. 

So like anyone else I walked around with my arms outstretched, and my eyes popping out of their sockets trying to see what's about to smack me in the face.

I did this yesterday and it dawned on me that this is exactly what we should do when we're in the dark places of our life. If we just keep our hands at our sides and walk around we're bound to get a concussion from hitting every wall, desk, and person in our way. 
In the same way, if we don't reach out to God in the darkness, we will never find our way out. 

There are two ways to handle the dark times in your life
1) Stay in one place and wait for God to turn the light on (Be still and know that I am God)
2) Use the word of God, which is a lamp unto you feet that will light your path

No matter what Happens God is always going to show you the way out but not until that portion of His plan is complete. 

This week I was really sick, had the Flu. 102 fever, coughing, sneezing, the works. 
So i decided the best cure was prayer. I sat and prayed for a while and as I touched certain parts of my body I could feel the pain subsiding and the fever go down and I got courage to pray for my entire family and friends. It was a powerful feeling and I truly believe that God did heal me to show me that he is the ultimate physician. 

But to my dismay my fever spiked up once more and my cough came back even worse. For a second I started to Doubt God but the spirit immediately shut that down. But as my fever got worse I questioned God with each new temperature.
Then on the way to the doctor yesterday I got this passage

1 Yet this I call to mind 
       and therefore I have hope:

 22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, 
       for his compassions never fail.

 23 They are new every morning; 
       great is your faithfulness.

 24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; 
       therefore I will wait for him."

 25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, 
       to the one who seeks him;

 26 it is good to wait quietly 

       for the salvation of the LORD. 
Lamentations 3:21-26
God's faithfulness surpasses everything, it is new every morning. Even if we don't get our prayers answered right away we should know that we can never be consumed- no matter how deep our troubles get. And no matter how often we hear silence after prayers we need to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.Its not an easy thing, it takes a lot of strength and a lot of courage- things we can only attain through Christ.Do not worry- In your darkest place you need only to reach out to God- and he will show you his unfailing faithfulness.
God Bless you guys :) 





Sunday, August 16, 2009

8|17|09

My blog is titled "Thirst"
thirst because.. Christ offers us everlasting water that will keep us from ever being thirsty again.
Thirst because as Christians we should always want more from Him.
Thirst because that's what I am, Thirsty for God. Thirsty for his love. Thirsty for more of Him- the type of thirst that can never be quenched and the type of water I cannot find anywhere else. 
I call this blog thirst because I want you to take one more sip, one more taste- of what God is trying to give you.
Hope. Peace. Love. Comfort. Forgiveness. Salvation. Redemption. Encouragement. Healing. Protection. 
His fountain is filled with these things, if only we would dip our hands in it and take a gulp. 

God is constantly asking us to drink of his Spirit but what happens when we ignore his voice?
Because its not that God no longer has a voice
-he is the same yesterday, today, and forever
Its not because he's angry with you
-for he is slow in anger but abounding in love
Its not because he's too far to reach
-For he is with you always, even to the end of the age
Its not because he does not care
-because nothing can separate us from the love of God
But its because WE have separated ourselves from him. We have filled our ears with so much garbage, our eyes with so many shameful things 
That we cannot hear or see God when he is constantly trying to get our attention.

Do not think that God has forgotten you, you have forgotten God. 

So I ask you one thing.
There are two ways that we can leave this world
-either we meet Christ at the pearly gates or he meets us as a thief in the night

How will we answer to him?

Our One True Savior, who sacrificed and died for our sins. The Lamb of God who was slain for the sins of the world. For your sins and for mine.
The savior who gave up his spirit on the Cross, who cried out "My God, My God why have you forsaken me" Whose own Father could not look at him because of the filth, our filth, that he took upon the cross. 

How will we answer him when he asks why we could not accept him?

So please, look back on your life through the eyes of God.
Our standards are not his standards.
He sees hatred as murder
Lust as Adultery

If we meet him on judgement day, what will be your ruling? 
Innocent or Guilty?

You cannot be saved by yourself, You were born into sin. Your very nature is sinful.
That is why you need a savior. 
Jesus Bought you with his precious blood. You were not saved by perishable things like silver or Gold but by the precious blood of Jesus, a lamb without blemish. 

But although everyone on earth has been bought, few recognize their salvation- enjoying their bondage.

Do not continue to live in sin but embrace the gift of Life.
The everlasting water

All who are thirsty
All who are weak
Just come to the Fountain
Dip your heart in the Stream of Life
Let the pain and the sorrow
Be washed away
In the wave of his mercy
As deep cries out to deep, we sing 

Come Lord Jesus Come... 

Saturday, June 20, 2009

6|20|09

Acts 3:1-10

" 1One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. 2Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. 3When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. 4Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, "Look at us!" 5So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

6Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." 7Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong. 8He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. 9When all the people saw him walking and praising God, 10they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him."


So before reading this I asked God to give me understanding, to be able to notice new things from the word of God. Now, I've read this story many times, studied this book for Bible Quizzes and Sunday School Lessons, but as God promised, I saw new things.

The first thing I noticed came from verse 3


"3When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. 4Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, "Look at us!" 5So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them."

So this crippled beggar continues to pray at the temple gate day in and day out, constantly crying out to deaf ears. Finally he sees Peter and John and calls out to them as well but after routinely being rejected by others he assumes that Peter and John will also ignore him. But no, Peter looks directly at him and commands for his attention.


Sometimes we continuously call out for help, whether its from our friends, family, worldly comforts. But when God is standing right there, do we think he's like the world? Do we rid him off and continuously ask for help even when he's standing right in front of us? Does he have to wake us up? Call for OUR attention? But just as importantly, are we responding right away? Are we giving him our attention when he calls for it?


Rather than simply crying out for help to beings who cannot fulfill our needs, we have to put our attention on God who is always ready and willing to help us- if only we'd continuously give him our attention.


----


Also after reading this I was wondering to myself... There must have been thousands of miracles that were performed, why was this one special enough to be written down? But as I kept reading the chapters that followed it became clear that this wasn't just some miracle but an event that changed the course of the church.


Simply because the two apostles decided to go pray at 3 in the afternoon


-a man was healed after 40 years

-Peter spoke to a crowd about the Gospel and about 5 thousand men came to Christ

-They were thrown into prison

-Sent before the Sanhedrin and was filled with the Holy Spirit

-Came back to the other believers and they too were filled with the Spirit and bold words were spoken for the Lord.


You see, one step for God can lead to the whole world turning on its axis. There are no small things for God, every simple prayer- every simple song- anything that God puts on our hearts can change the course of events. It is up to us to be ready at a moments notice, to be willing to come before God with the mindset that He can do big things. So long as we do not limit God- he will move in a mighty way.


Be ready for that movement.


Be ready when he calls you.


God Bless :)

Friday, June 19, 2009

6|19|09

1st Samuel 18:1-4
" 1 After David had finished talking with
Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 2
From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his
father's house. 3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David
because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and
gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his
belt. "


The friendship between Jonathan and David was an unlikely one. Although at the time Saul was not jealous of the young harp player, the struggle to keep their friendship became harder as time progressed.
Later on we see that while Saul hated and feared David, tried to kill him many times, Jonathan's love towards David never faded.

Samuel 19:1-7
" 1 Saul told his son Jonathan and all the
attendants to kill David. But Jonathan was very fond of David 2 and
warned him
, "My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on
your guard tomorrow morning; go into hiding and stay there. 3 I will go out and
stand with my father in the field where you are. I'll speak to him about you and
will tell you what I find out."

1 Samuel 20:1-4
1
Then David fled from Naioth at Ramah and went to Jonathan and asked, "What have
I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father, that he is trying to
take my life?"
2 "Never!" Jonathan replied. "You are not going to die! Look,
my father doesn't do anything, great or small, without confiding in me. Why
would he hide this from me? It's not so!"
3 But David took an oath and said,
"Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has
said to himself, 'Jonathan must not know this or he will be grieved.' Yet as
surely as the LORD lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and
death."
4 Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you want me to do, I'll
do for you."

Even though Saul and David continued in dispute, Jonathan's love for David never expired.

I believe the reason behind their strong, never wavering, friendship was the covenant created when they first met one another. As a way to seal the covenant Jonathan gave David his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt.

When we accept Christ as our personal Savior, our friend, we are making a life long covenant with him. But in order to make this covenant we have to offer everything we have.

The robe of the world that can no longer cover us- replaced by the cover of his precious blood.

"A tunic is any of several types of clothing for the body, with or without sleeves, and of various lengths reaching from the shoulders to somewhere between the hips and the ankles."

The tunic- Every piece of clothing that forms a barrier between God and us, we have to strip ourselves of everything that holds us to our old selves.

We must rid ourselves of our swords & bows which we use to defend ourselves against the world- Now that Christ is our protector we have no use of man made protection. Thing such as humanly advice cannot help us any longer, only the spirit & word of God can truly touch our hearts. The word of God and God himself can thwart anything the enemy puts against us.

And finally the belt- later in the bible it is referred to as the belt of truth. Truth is not something that comes to us easily but must come from God. Our own version of truth is not given by the spirit. The belt of truth given by God helps us go into spiritual battles & can only be worn once we shed our self-discovered truths.

You see, the old testament connects with the new in every possible way. Johnathan is shedding his former armor as he gets ready to put on the armor of God.

As we meet our savior and become "one in the spirit" with him, we have to shed all our old ways, all our old understanding, and be ready to put on the whole armor of God.

God Bless :)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

6|17|09

Today was the most amazing experience of my life.
The difference from one moment to the next was so great that I strain to recall that transitional moment.

You see, about three hours ago God showed me what my purpose is, at least- the first step to my purpose.

He gave me gifts that I was beginning to believe were fictional and a renewed promise- a reminder of how far He can take me.

Ephesians 1:3

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has
blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.


Every spiritual blessing. We are promised every spiritual blessing- IN
Christ.

That's all I really want to write about today- to maybe let this blog become
second nature again.

I pray earnestly that my words may be drenched in the blood of Christ, that
every topic, sentence, word- may be given by the Holy Spirit & that he
may touch your heart through it.

You are all my brothers and sisters in Christ- I love you dearly with the
same Love that Christ has shown me.

Take Care, God Bless, and please visit frequently- I feel like there is much
to say & very little time to say it in.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

3|8|2009

These past few months have been really flavorless. I go from day to day as though satisfied with what I'm doing but there seems to be such an emptiness in it all. The moment I go to bed it seems as though nothing I did meant anything and in the end it was all just a waste. The problem is right there in my face and, although I know what's wrong, I do nothing about it.

Devotional time with Christ is what I have been lacking the past few months. That hunger for God that I clung to so earnestly seems to be draining through my finger tips and I can find no bucket in which to catch it in. When flipping through the channels i fell upon TBN, a channel I'm sad to say I normally pass over in a rush to watch "House" or "The Office". There was a lady there speaking about the last church mentioned in the book of Revelation:

Revelation 3:14-22
To the Church in Laodicea
14"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. 15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 19Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. 21To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
The lady who was speaking on this passage was from South Africa and she said the terms they use for "hot" and "cold" are "ice cold" and "fire hot"- the extremities of the two. The problem with being merely lukewarm is that there is no hunger or readiness to be a true follower of Christ. Either you're completely on fire for him or you are totally against him. The middle ground is the most dangerous because although you claim Christ- there is no body drenched in that life giving flow of blood. It is ONE thing to say you are Christian but a whole different story when you are on fire for God.

One of the problems I have with my Christian life is that I categorizie it as "my Christian life"- there should be no label on my life as "Christian" "Secular" or anything in between. Life should equal Christ.

By simply saying you are a Harvard Grad Student or that you hold a phd does not make it true. The mouth may declare it but if the heart protests it, it cannot be true. "We are the Bible's most people read" saying you are a Christian but living a life with one foot outside of the boat will not get you anywhere. The constant journey to Paradise is met with a lot of crossroads and drops but so long as our eyes are met on our savior, our hearts blazing for him, and so long as we keep our sight and hope on the harvest- there is no telling what joys we will experiance on the way.

I was hoping that writing here would give me the inspiration to spend some time with God and I believe it has, praise God.

God Bless.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

1|04|2009

When we have a low self image we ask God why. Why didn't you create me in this way, or that way? But do you wonder- if God had made you exactly the way you wanted- would you still have humility? Would you be arrogant, prideful, vain?

We ask God why he didn't make us geniuses, why he didn't give us intelligence or the opportunities that others have. But if you were such an intellect, would believe you were too wise for God? Would you be the type that argued sight over faith?

We ask God why he left us scrounging for money- why he didn't give us wealth like our neighbor or the easy life like our friends. Yet if you had all the wealth in the world, would you thank God for the food on your plate or the clothing on your back?

God gives us certain needs, certain attributes, because he knows the frame of our minds and the depth of our hearts.

Imagine an office room full of workers- the thermostat has been set to 65*. Each person will respond to the temperature in a different way. One person will think its too cold and put on a jacket, another person believes its too uncomfortable and sheds theirs, someone else becomes too disgruntled and leaves the room all together, while another man decides to take action and simply changes the temperature to fit his liking.

Every person responds to the same situation differently. God our Father knows how we will respond to different situations.

We've all heard the analogy of God not being a vending machine- but he will give us "money" out of his own pocket. Let me explain:

Pslam 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.

When we died with Christ our old selves died- because he rose again we have the ability to create a new heart- beating for him alone.
When that happens, our desires are not our own but our desires become the same as his. When we ask God for a harvest, he's more than willing to show you the way. When we ask God for the ability to pray through the spirit- he will craft us towards that goal.
When we worship God, when we live for him- then we get blessings, then we are filled abundantly.

Life isn't about the material things or the need to please the eye- life is about living for Christ.