09I05I11

If you have ever felt

consumed,

alone,

torn,

worn down--

If you've ever felt punched in the stomach

As though each person was out to get you

If you have felt the desperate need to crawl within yourself

to pretend you don't exist for 5 min. or more.

If you simply want the day to be over

the conversation

the situation.

If you wish people could be quiet for 5 min

that people would mind their own business

that Satan could just... leave you alone.

I know how you feel.

The worst feeling though is having no one to talk to- or thinking you have no one to talk to at least.

Even as a Christian telling God my issues is hard. I feel kind of stupid telling him my petty problems. I guess I think.. dang God you have the a world full of craziness.. even though my world may feel like its crumbling.. what's that compared to everything you have to deal with?

Sometimes I talk like that ^ as if I don't know my God at all...

then I remembered this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwoS_wIWz18

If anyone cared about how I feel

about how terrible my day was

about how lonely or overwhelmed i feel

or how antagonized I may be

or how many people are against me

... God is always for me.

He always has my best interest.

And no matter what I do

he loves me.

he cares for me.

"When the storm is raging all around me, you are the peace that calms my troubled sea, when the cares of this world darken my day, you are the light that shines and shows me the way... "

3|23|11

I'm going to be 20 in about 2 months.

Some people say Age ain't nothin but a number, but the reality is age is what marks time. It can explain how much (or little) wisdom you have, what you should have accomplished, and what time you have left to accomplish them.

Sometimes I think back to elementary school and how much I wanted to get to middle school, and then I wanted to be in high school, then in high school all I could think of was college, and while I was content with where I was I always thought there was something better coming along.

When it comes to marriage, dating, and basically just finding someone to talk to and claim as your own- a lot of people want to jump the gun. No matter what your age is or how wise you might be, somehow you want what you want & don't really think twice about it.

We sometimes have this problem where we simply want what we want and don't care what the consequences are, we want what we want and God wants what he wants.

The problem with that however is that as Christians we should want to do what God want's us to do. When we chose to live for Christ that means every single part of our lives is given for his use, especially when deciding who God has planned for us to spend the rest of our lives with.

⁸ I desire to do your will, my God;
your law is within my heart.”

Psalm 40:8

I had an epiphany the other day and I'd like to share it with you guys.. ready for the Hallelujah Chorus?

- I have a really long time before I need to think about dating or marriage. Once that time comes I have to share myself with a whole other person. I have to love him, care for him, watch out for him, and then sooner or later care about kids and a mortgage and bills and a job.

NOW though is now. I only have these precious few years to myself where it can be JUST me and God. No husband, no kids, not mortgage. So during these precious few years that I have to have exclusive fellowship with God, I want to use it. I don't want to waste these years being concerned with trivial things. -

Be careful with how you use your time, there's no refund policy.

2|1|11

I am just so in awe of my God.

Its crazy to think of where I should be. Where I should have been headed. That from birth I was sentenced to death but I was snatched from the grasp of Satan. Its as if I was falling into a never ending crater but Jesus caught me and brought me out.

Whoever may stumble upon this blog that I write always with a heavy heart,

We will never understand this love he has for us, we will never be able to fully grasp it, we will never be able to fully imitate it.. yet its ours. Without a question, without a thought, he offered us the sweetest thing.

So if you have forgotten your savior, remember he has not forgotten you.

Romans 8:37-39
But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.