3|8|2009

These past few months have been really flavorless. I go from day to day as though satisfied with what I'm doing but there seems to be such an emptiness in it all. The moment I go to bed it seems as though nothing I did meant anything and in the end it was all just a waste. The problem is right there in my face and, although I know what's wrong, I do nothing about it.

Devotional time with Christ is what I have been lacking the past few months. That hunger for God that I clung to so earnestly seems to be draining through my finger tips and I can find no bucket in which to catch it in. When flipping through the channels i fell upon TBN, a channel I'm sad to say I normally pass over in a rush to watch "House" or "The Office". There was a lady there speaking about the last church mentioned in the book of Revelation:

Revelation 3:14-22

To the Church in Laodicea

¹⁴"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. ¹⁵I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! ¹⁶So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. ¹⁷You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. ¹⁸I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. ¹⁹Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. ²⁰Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. ²¹To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. ²²He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."

The lady who was speaking on this passage was from South Africa and she said the terms they use for "hot" and "cold" are "ice cold" and "fire hot"- the extremities of the two. The problem with being merely lukewarm is that there is no hunger or readiness to be a true follower of Christ. Either you're completely on fire for him or you are totally against him. The middle ground is the most dangerous because although you claim Christ- there is no body drenched in that life giving flow of blood. It is ONE thing to say you are Christian but a whole different story when you are on fire for God.

One of the problems I have with my Christian life is that I categorizie it as "my Christian life"- there should be no label on my life as "Christian" "Secular" or anything in between. Life should equal Christ.

By simply saying you are a Harvard Grad Student or that you hold a phd does not make it true. The mouth may declare it but if the heart protests it, it cannot be true. "We are the Bible's most people read" saying you are a Christian but living a life with one foot outside of the boat will not get you anywhere. The constant journey to Paradise is met with a lot of crossroads and drops but so long as our eyes are met on our savior, our hearts blazing for him, and so long as we keep our sight and hope on the harvest- there is no telling what joys we will experiance on the way.

I was hoping that writing here would give me the inspiration to spend some time with God and I believe it has, praise God.

God Bless.