12|30|10

Happy New Year!

(Almost)

2010

Its been a bittersweet year for me filled with smiles, tears, loneliness and love. I think the best thing to do before the new year starts and resolutions are made and broken it is best to look back and count your blessings.

To name them one by one.

In May after much prayer and waiting I was able to take Believers Baptism along with the rest of my family, I joined an amazing church, made new friendships and built up older ones, started to learn what my calling is, was able to teach VBS over the summer, became part of the youth leadership team, and through what seemed like my lowest point was able to rewrite my thoughts and become a better person.

Really though there are too many blessings to count and just as 2009 ended with awe and joy 2010 does as well.

“This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” - Isaiah 43:16, 18-19

This is my verse for the new year. There is no turning back as we run this race but we continue to press on toward the goal. I pray that this new year bring each of you a new heart after God and after his people.

& think hard about your new years resolutions, don't set yourself up for a fall but push yourself as well :)

10|12|10

Overwhelmed.

It literally means to be engulfed or submerged.

For the past few days I have been feeling completely... undone.

Its not an easy thing for me to say- I really hate saying when I'm stressed. I'll cry like a water fountain, laugh silently (but violently) off my chair, and spew out all my secrets as if I have no filter- But mentioning to my friends and family when I'm stressed out or slowly unraveling? Never.

But the truth is- i am. I feel like I have control over absolutely nothing and that every portion of my life has broken away from me and scattered to who knows where..

Not only grades and school but my emotions have gone haywire, I brood and dwell on the worst thoughts, I revisit my past a thousand times, make horrible decision after horrible decision and sometimes I just turn off.

I don't know how to manage anything... My time, my thoughts, my words, my hopes. Everything is just a pile of laundry on the floor.

I'm telling you this because I'm sure you are me. At least at some point in time you have been an extreme version of me, a percentage of me, or exactly like me. Whatever has been the case, you have felt the pressure of a thousand weights upon you.

The one thought that has brought me through every drowning moment is from Psalm 139

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, ^{a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a]} you are there.

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

When you are lost and feeling like you are walking with your eyes wide open in the dark... trying to see but failing miserably- and when you feel like you are sinking further and further from reality

God is always, always a constant force- weaving within your problems and piecing them together to form the perfect masterpiece of your life.

When everything is just out of your control and you feel as if you've dropped a billion marbles

God is in control. And who better to take the reigns? He is far more able than I could ever be.

10|9|10

Just.

A lot of Christians are in love with this word, especially those who grew up in the church.

Its Just a Tv Show.

Its Just Music.

Its Just a word.

Its Just a shirt.

Its Just a dress.

Its Just a book.

Its Just a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Its Just flirting.

Its Just dancing.

Its Just one day.

Its Just this one time.

Its Just one try.

Its Just a movie.

Its Just how I express myself.

Its Just a joke.

Just.

The problem with that word is that nothing is ever Just- God does not like when we make exceptions to Holiness. Its never just a book, a song, a movie, a word, a trip to the club or just one sip of alcohol.

"But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." Luke 12:48

Don't say you are not in leadership so you don't really have to worry about what you do, don't say that your whole life people have seen you as a screw up so you are allowed to falter here and there, don't say you are not perfect so you can mess up just because you treat God's mercy as a cushion.

Romans 8 contends that we are no longer bound by sin, once we have accepted Christ we are set free. You may mess up every now and again but if you view things as "just" then everything will become excused and you will eventually lose the Holiness God wishes for you.

Christians should strive to be seen as extreme, in every other case "extreme" can be a bad thing- too occupied with work, too stressed, too excited- but when it comes to loving Christ extreme should be our goal, everyone should aim towards being a consuming fire. To do this we must erase every "just" in our life- the more "just"s we remove, the closer we may grow to holiness & the closer we can grow to really having a relationship with God.

Its not impossible, with the Holy Spirit we can do all things.

God Bless :)

8|1|10

Nominal Christians.

Namesake Christians.

The fact that there are people in the world who call themselves Christian but are not born again has become so common that they are given a name. Nominal or Namesake. Meaning that if someone were to ask what religion they belong to or what church they go to, they have an answer and sadly Christian is the one many people cling to without knowing what it really means to Follow Christ.

If being Christian is an easy thing for you, then you probably are not Christian.

The Bible says we are to carry our cross, deny ourselves, and follow him, to crucify our sinful desires DAILY.

Carrying a cross is not an easy thing, and deny yourself is definitely not easy. Deny yourself means this-

Naturally we are sinners.

Naturally we desire sinful things- our eyes, ears, emotions are all prone to what is detestable in the Lord's sight. But God asks us to Deny ourselves of those things.

That means that if there is a popular show on TV but it shows explicit sex, foul language, or anything you would not watch with, lets say your parents, next to you- then you don't watch it. That means that if there's music on the radio describing lust, drugs, alcohol, or anything that you know is not of God- then you don't watch it.

And the list goes on and on.

Basically Christianity- having a Relationship with God- is a lifestyle. It is a continuous process of ripping apart your old self- bit by bit. Cracking and pulling off every dead and contaminating part of yourself and growing in righteousness.

For we are no longer slaves to sin but slaves to righteousness.

If you call yourself a Christian but you curse, if you call yourself a christian but you get drunk regularly, if you call yourself a Christian but you don't love Christ & your goal is not to become like him- then you have a rude awakening before you. But 1 John 1:9 says

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Christianity is not a name, it is not a title, it is not a religion

Christianity is loving Christ, loving his sheep, and becoming like him.

7|27|10

Lately I've been struggling with spending time with God. It sounds crazy doesn't it?

I mean when you're in love with someone, say you're about to get married to someone and you're basically head over heals for them.

You think about them constantly, maybe doodle their name in your notebook. You talk about how amazing and wonderful they are to all your friends, coworkers, anyone who is in your vicinity will probably end up getting an ear full about this amazing guy or girl you are in love with.
And of course, you look forward to spending time with them. If you know you're about to go to dinner with them the entire day is spent in counting the seconds that keep you from them.

... so if we're in love with God. If we are engaged to him.
Why is it so hard to separate time to spend with him?

There are many excuses we can make, believe me- I am the Queen of excuses, but when it comes down to it nothing excuses you from meeting with God daily. Nothing.

Today I finally had a real one on one meeting with Him, I mean yah I talk to him throughout the day but I don't think it really counts unless you have no other distractions. Its been hard because I keep waiting till the last possible second and of course I end up falling asleep. Then the next day the same thing and the next day the same thing. Eventually prayer time is so sporadic that I can count the number of times I pray easier than the times I've forgotten.

For example, Lets say you're really busy with work or school but in the midst of it all you realize need to go to the restroom and there's no time to go so you hold it in. Soon you kind of forget you need to go. (yes I know this may be a weird analogy but hear me out)

Sometimes you notice when you're drifting away from God but the longer you put off praying to him and reading his word, the less you notice that feeling of emptiness, the softer the voice of the Holy Spirit becomes.

The second I knelt before Him today I felt this surge of thirst. As if this whole time I was heavily dehydrated but didn't know I was until I sat next to the well. As a deer thirsts for water Lord my soul thirsts after you...

I changed churches this year and one of the many things I love about going to IBC (International Bible Church) is that I can never wear eyeliner. No, not because we're not allowed to or anything but because I never fail to weep, or become so engrossed in worship that I look misshapen by the end of it.
And no, its not because I'm emotional or because I'm sad- but because being in the presence of God makes me Tremble and the Holy Spirit moves so freely in that place that by the end of the service i have mascara running over my nose and my eyes are black. I realize pretty quickly that makeup just wasn't going to work anymore.

One thing I hope will never happen though is developing a sense of Apathy. Each Sunday at exactly 10:30, with the rumble of the drums and the exaltation exploding from the mike all I can think of is " HURRY " - no joke. So I quickly find a free row, throw on my head shawl, and get ready for another amazing morning of Worship and being fed. I hope that no matter how many Sundays pass, no matter how many retreats or meetings go by, I hope I never lose this immense passion for my Savior. We need it.. or he'll spit us out.

A deep desire to be in His presence, that's all he wants from us.. the word of God says the only sacrifice we can offer is a sacrifice of praise.

Don't be lukewarm.

3|28|10

Romans 8:5-11

" ⁵Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.⁶The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; ⁷the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. ⁸Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

⁹You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. ¹⁰But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. ¹¹And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you."

Sin, even once we are born again, can often feel like it is somehow stuck to us & can never be shaken off.

In the Bible the word for sin most often used literally means "to miss the mark"- if you imagine a Dart Board- it would be saying that you were not hitting the bulls eye when you aimed for it.

So missing the mark could mean lying, lusting, murder, anger- or it could mean not reading the Bible, not praying, or not following the beckoning of the Holy Spirit.

For me- one sin just keeps rearing its ugly head. It lashes out at me, gnaws at me, and clings to me so forcefully that I felt as though it was impossible to let it go.

It became habitual to a point where me thinking of a life without it seemed impossible- irrational even. I even found myself telling a friend that I just could not be rid of it.

And then those words hit me.

I could not be rid of sin?

I know we always say "hey, I'm not perfect, God understands that I'm a sinner" But the Bible says that we do not have a sinful nature but are controlled by the spirit!

We are not controlled by a SINFUL nature

but by the SPIRIT who gives LIFE.

So if you are struggling with a sin you just cannot be rid of

Whether its anger, lukewarm tendencies, lust, skewed priorities, a deceitful tongue or anything that means you are missing the mark by which God has called you to live by

REMEMBER

you are no longer slaves to sin. It has no hold on you. If you feel like you cannot control the situation, as if it is out of your hands- God is the one who is in control & everything is in HIS hands, which your name is inscribed upon.

I advice everyone to read Romans 8 & Romans in general- what an amazing chapter that begins with the promise of freedom from sin to the inseparable incomparable love of Christ.

As Holy Week begins, remember the sacrifice Christ made for you, that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.

He loves you so, so much.

2|22|10

So lately I've been feeling as though I'm juggling and have been for a while

Whether its school, work, making time for friends or spiritual growth, they've all been circling over my head and somehow I've been able to catch and toss them around without fail.

Now however it feels like they're dropping one by one.

Without my consent I can feel myself being pulled in every direction, being ripped apart- torn.

Its scary since I'm not normally a stressed person. I take on a lot with the knowledge that the stress probably wont get to me.. but then I forget that enough weight will pull anyone down.

Most of the world feels this way, as if they are running on an ever rolling log- trying to keep their feet up and run at a steady pace- and all the while are able to see the long fall if failure is the end result.

There are many fears we have but there is a hope that we have as well.

There is nothing impossible for our God and if we do end up tripping and falling off of the ever spinning log- there is a hand that is waiting to catch us.

Times of stress, when we have exams crawling out of nowhere, sickness that creeps up on us, work that drains, procrastination that eats us slowly, family conflicts that divide us into pieces, people's expectations, financial burdens, various heart breaks and every other problem that seems to hammer us deeper and deeper into the ground

These times are when God can truly use you.

Christ said that we are supposed to have an unspeakable joy, that we should not worry about anything because our God will take care of us...

So while the rest of the world cries out in frustration, we should be the ones to praise God despite the hopeless situation.

We should be the ones to be optimistic

We should be the ones encouraging each other

We should be the ones running along the log with the knowledge that there is an everlasting net waiting to catch us.

There are many ways to evangelize to others & this is one of them

People will see something different in you when they see the Trust you have in your God.

God Bless

If you are worrying this week, pray & your mountains will fall into the sea.

John 16:33

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

1|27|10

We all know that there is a heaven.

We may picture angel's with long flowing white robes, mostly women who are white & have long blonde hair. They carry a harp and relax on clouds as though they were recliners.

We may picture a golden road, a golden city. A place where we will never be hungry, never mourn, never sin. Where "Holy Holy Holy, Lord God Almighty" and "Hallelujah" is on every lip and on every tongue. Where our flesh no longer makes us weak, that the spirit that was so willing and eager to worship finally can without having to drag the hostile body.

Its perfection. Eden as it should have been.

But there is a place called Hell as well.

The Bible says "The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth (Mathew 13:41-42).

Mathew's Gospel speaks of Hell the most of any book.

The person in the Bible to refer to Hell the most is Jesus Christ.

Its a real place, it is the consequence of those that do "things that offend" and "iniquity." This is mentioned repeatedly in the Gospels. When Jesus speaks of anger, or cutting off your arm, foot, plucking out your eye if any of them causes you to sin- the consequence he always always goes to is Hell. Eternal damnation. The wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Yet, praise God! Because while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. And while the penalty of sin is death (spiritual death, eternal destruction) but the gift of eternal life comes through Christ Jesus.

The Key here is- Christ. His death, his life, his promise, his sacrifice, his love. HIM. And ONLY through him do you get the promise of eternal life and salvation.

In John 14:6

"⁶Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

No one comes to the father, except through Him. The road is very narrow and only the righteous will walk on it. Those who do not, those who chose not to, there is only one other way they can go.

This is not only against not Christians but lukewarm christians as well- Revelation says that God will spit out those who are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold.

Hell is a very real place, a very horrible and cursed place.

Revelation 20:11-15

"¹¹Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. Earth and sky fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. ¹²And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. ¹³The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what he had done. ¹⁴Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. ¹⁵If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.

When your name is called on Judgement day, which could be tomorrow for you- or in the last days when the trumpet calls- will your name be in the Book of Life. Will Christ say he is pleased with you, or depart from me- I never knew you.

Will your friend's name be in that book? Your siblings, your cousins, your parents, your best friend, boy friend? If not- you are accountable for them. Like when the four friends brought their paralytic friend to Jesus, it was by their faith also that he was healed. We are supposed to bring our friends to Christ.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed to us. If you have any doubt that you will not enter Heaven, if you have not fully accepted Christ into your heart then I urge you to ask him into your life. Do not wait, do not think that you can put this off- each day is so precious and should not be wasted.

If you need to talk to anyone know that I'm always here. You can comment this blog or email me @ angelashleyalways24@yahoo.com

There is such a joy, love, and peace that comes with knowing Jesus Christ. He is my best friend, my savior. If you are lacking in anything, if you feel a void or emptiness in your life- a burden, a pain, anguish. He is the answer to everything. I guarantee not an easy life, but a full one.

" ²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Mathew 11:28-30

1|20|10

Life usually doesn't go like we planned, or sometimes its pretty perfect and you wonder what every one's complaining about.

But 9 times out of 10 I'm sure we see ourselves looking down an empty well, wondering what in the world just happened and what in the world are we going to do about it?

Well, 10 times out of 10, although we fail to turn to it first. The Bible really does have words of comfort, words that shift through the muck and help you wake up to another day.

Psalm 34 has definitely been a chapter that has shifted through a lot of the muck from this past week.

Psalm 34

¹ I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.

² My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

³ Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

⁶ This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.

⁷ The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

⁹ Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.

¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

¹¹ Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

¹² Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,

¹³ keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.

¹⁴ Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

¹⁵ The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;

¹⁶ the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.

¹⁸ The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;

²⁰ he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

²¹ Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

²² The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

David starts off by saying that he will praise God always,

his praise will always be on his lips. His soul Boasts in the Lord-

Let those who are

afflicted, wounded, tired

rejoice!

Glorify him with me. Let my joy, my gladness, infect you- empower you to be filled with the same joy, the same praise.

And then he tells us why.

Why does David continuously glorify the name of the Lord? Why does he tell those who are being worn down- to rejoice & praise God with him?

Because when he sought the Lord. When we looked to the Lord and went to him in the secret place- He answered him.

Because.. when we look to the Lord our faces are glowing, like Moses- when he went up to the Mountain to see God, his face was glowing & so radiant he had to cover it with a veil. So when we look unto God our faces are also radiant. And we are never, never put to shame. No one can mock us, no one can belittle us- we are never put to shame.

This, This poor man. David calls himself a poor man, a man of riches, an empire that is virtually undefeated. But in the presence of God we are just filthy rags. David is so humble before the Lord.. When humility is lacking- God will surely send it on its way.

The Angel of the Lord- encamps. God sends angels, his messengers- his warriors- his guardians like we see Michael & Gabriel- to deliver those who fear him.

So..

Taste and See!- that the Lord is Good. Fear Him, Seek Him- and you will Lack no Good thing

His eyes are on the Righteous. And he is attentive to their cry.

Verse 18- my favorite

The Lord is close the brokenhearted.

Its such an amazing Psalm full of hope and wonder and you can't help but see the

raw relationship that David has with God.

David Loves the Lord because he Tasted Him, he sought after him, his heart was broken and the Lord was there close enough to mend it.

David had such an amazing relationship with the Lord. And when we go through problems we often become angry with God for not being near. When in truth we've just lost our eyes.

When times are going well and we put him aside, farther and farther from where we are, then when we've lost our way- expect to reach out and find him waiting for us.

In fact. He does. He does wait for us. He is always there- closer than a brother. Even when we put Him under a rug and toss Him aside- he welcomes us.. with open arms.

The secret in tasting and seeing that the Lord is good is actually tasting. Is actually seeking.

We want God to *poof* next to us when we are staring down at that empty well- but if our eyes are adjusted to merely seeing black and white- how would they know when Color appeared?

Adjust your eyes, taste and see that the Lord is good

So that when you're staying up with sore red eyes studying for the biggest test of your life, coming home from a job that you break your back for, wrestling with illness and hurdles no one could understand, fighting with your parents, worried about your future or broken hearted

God will just clench your hand a little tighter.

1|17|10

Today I woke up and had no voice.

Over night I had a terrible fever only to wake up with a temperature, sore throat, and in inaudible voice.

It was Sunday morning- I had so many plans for the day. I was supposed to give the sunday school exam to my 1st graders, something I was looking forward to- nostalgic as I am, but had to cancel knowing I could to read the questions to my students.

A parent called to say their child could not come into class and I had to hand the phone to my mom to speak for me.

I felt so frustrated.

I kept thinking about how I wouldn't be able to sing during praise and worship, pray aloud between songs, or do anything I look so forward to doing on Sunday mornings..

When God created the world he spoke it into motion. "He said" let there be light... and there was light.

When Jesus performed every wonder, when he declared "It is finished", when he made and fulfilled every promise- he spoke.

In the beginning there was the "word" and the "word" was with God and.. John ch 1- Jesus is called the word.

On the day of pentecost the Holy Spirit was given, Peter said a message for a couple minutes and thousands came to Christ.

If you believe in your heart and Confess with your Mouth that Jesus is Lord- you are saved.

I think you get the picture.

Your words, what you say, is far more important than you can imagine. Especially when you use the word of God.

When you say things out loud-

-speaking against your circumstances

-encouraging others during their prayer

-interceding with others during their prayer

-worshiping and humbling yourself without shame

-declaring the promises in your life

God is faithful.

If we are too ashamed of God or too embarrassed to cry aloud- he says when the time comes he will say he never knew you either.

Don't allow your voice to be lost

proclaim your faith without shame.

It is a powerful weapon.